Making vegetables cool again

Tumblr_l7z41hspld1qzpwi0o1_500No one is interested in vegetables, and I commend you if you’ve even read this far. But that’s kind of the point.

Crispin Porter + Bogusky, the ad agency behind notable (and creepy) ad campaigns like the BK King, has been hired to make vegetables sexy again. Well, not again. The last time they were sexy was probably when some prehistoric family was starving and hunting lettuce. But I digress.

The basic premise was that junk food doesn’t just succeed because of taste (or fat, or sugar…), but it’s got billions of dollars of marketing science behind it. This is not something that most unbranded products, let alone vegetables, can claim. Sure, you have the “Got Milk?” and “The Other White Meat” campaign, but you don’t see a lot of high-impact commercials for radishes.

The above packages represent what Marketing could do to that humble, everyday snack – baby carrots. For me, all it

takes to buy carrots is an accompanying three pounds of hummus. That said, the above designs are pretty cool. The one on the left reminds me of pop chips.

Goes to show you how much creativity can make a difference in our perception of things. Now if only more vegetables tasted good.

(h/t Daily Dish)

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King of all crappy landlord lists

Nobody likes their landlord. I’m a landlord and it causes self-loathing. Usually, though, this dislike stems from annoying rules, slow response times, or some other relatively minor thing. Not these landlords.

The NYC Public Advocate put together a Google map mashup of the worst offending landlords in the five boroughs. Each has received different classes of violations. Here is a description of the worst type:

Class C: Immediately hazardous violations, such as inadequate fire exits, rodents, lead-based paint, lack of heat, hot water, electricity, or gas. An owner has 24 hours to correct a C violation and five days to certify the correction to remove the violation. If the owner fails to comply with emergency C violations such as lack of heat or hot water, HPD initiates corrective action through its Emergency Repair Program.

Some landlords have 160 violations of this type – and nearly 1,000 total. How are you even a landlord at that point?

Anyway, it’s worth looking around the map and seeing some of the trends/worst offenders. The actual map isn’t embeddable but a screenshot is below and here’s the real thing. What’s interesting is that most educated people have known for some time that Astoria is the greatest neighborhood outside of Manhattan. This map bears that out. Nothing but gold and sunshine in northwestern Queens.

Unfortunately, of course, this map really represents landlords taking advantage of tenants in lower income areas. One would think that some government official could take action against those with so many violations, but hopefully some public shame is a good start.

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Exciting Depression-era photos

How’s that for an oxymoronic headline?

As regular readers know, I am very much into photography, especially with unusual approaches. The Denver Post (via Brandon) has met my lofty criteria with a series of Depression-era photographs – specifically, 1939-1945. Although these were taken at the tail end (or slightly after) of what is typically considered the Great Depression, these certainly capture the era’s impact on rural America.

The color and “high definition” of these photographs were striking to me. The abundance of black and white photo and film from earlier times has created a permanent fog in our perception. Images of the early 20th century (and before) tend to have an “old-timey” feel. People and landscapes appear conceptual – it is hard to imagine that black and white people in old fashioned clothes saw blue skies, lived typical lives and went through many of the same things we do today.

The Post series helps change all that. We see an America beginning to modernize, but still very much in development. Bustling cities appear alongside home-made log cabins. It’s hard to imagine that this was only 70 years ago – a time with no internet, let alone television, or even widespread rural electricity.

It’s pretty cool to see this time in such a clear and realistic way. Worth checking out the whole set. Plus, they are all on one page – no annoying slide show.

Color America

Color America

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Driving While Black and Jewish

Note: Dramatic reenactment

Last Friday, some friends and I planned dinner at Sea, a great Thai place in the meatpacking district. It’s across the streetĀ  from the Standard Hotel, noted for its exhibitionism and exclusive club.

After dinner, we walked to my car, which was parked on the street nearby. Jared and Z-Man got in the back, and Richardo and I were up front. It is probably worth noting, at this point, that Richardo is black, while the rest of us are as Jewish as the day is long. Richardo was wearing a polo shirt and was earlier accused of being the preppiest person at the Standard Hotel (no small feat).

Anyway, we drove about three blocks, and were stopped at a red light (in front of Dos Caminos, which is irrelevant, yet a hilarious setting for what was about to occur).

All of a sudden, there was a siren and flashing lights behind us (from an unmarked police car), and extremely aggressive yelling on the loudspeaker to pull over. We had no idea what was going on, and the reaction seemed a bit strong for a tail light outage or missed stop sign.

The car was approached on either side by two undercover officers – one was white and looked twelve (on my side) and one was black and enormous (on the passenger side). They immediately started asking numerous questions for which the answers seemed to not matter:

Vanilla Ice: WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!?!?!?
Me: I’m leaving dinner.
Vanilla Ice: WHO IS THE GUY NEXT TO YOU?
Me: My college roommate and best friend.
Vanilla Ice: PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE WHEEL NOW
Me: Okay [does so]
Vanilla Ice: PUT THEM BEHIND YOUR HEAD!
Me: Okay [does so]
Vanilla Ice: DAMMIT YOU’RE NOT LISTENING – GET OUT OF THE CAR NOW!
Me (inaudibly): Are we playing the worst game of Simon says ever?

Once I was out of the car, I noticed that Slim Shady’s other hand was on his unholstered gun. At this point, we began to wonder….what in the hell was going on. His questions seemed to focus on who the hell my passenger was and if I was sure I was not a criminal. Finally, I asked the officer why we were stopped.

His demeanor immediately changed. He said that some guy was walking around Little West 12th Street “committing crimes.” They had been watching us, and when we got in the car they thought Richardo matched this guy’s description, but couldn’t see him so they had to pursue us. (Ed. note – How could he simultaneously match someone’s description, yet be unseen?)

The other cop asked Richardo what his name was, in full earshot of me. Then, Richie Cunningham also asked me Richardo’s name. When they “matched,” the cops simply walked away without so much as an apology.

While Z-Man tended to changing his pants, Richardo and I were completely shocked. First of all, if this search was even real (and worthy of involving guns), one thinks they would have actually done something crazy like…check our IDs? As opposed to taking our word for it? I don’t know how Richardo could have matched a suspect, yet they couldn’t see him.

I wasn’t able to get either badge number, and we were never actually detained, so I don’t know how much recourse we have. That said, if the NYPD’s thriving racial profiling business is here to stay, a word of advice – I don’t think many street hustlers drive around in expensive clothes with 3 Jewish kids in a convertible through the meatpacking district. But hey – if you see something, say something.

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Hello again

By popular demand (via two people), I am back from another blogging sabbatical!

Nothing has really happened in the last three months other than tons of travel, calamity all over the world, and some progress on my 101 in 1001. I will begin catching up….now.

I hope this helps with your quasi-daily fix of sarcasm, political news, and general nonsense.

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Hell

(via Xkcd)

There's also a Katamari level where everything is just slightly bigger than you, and a Mario level with a star just out of reach.

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The greatest tournament ever?

Forget March Madness. Ignore the World Series. Every so often, a tournament comes along that completely encapsulates the human condition and captivates the world. Enter – the Name of the Year bracket.

From the website: “Name of the Year was founded in 1983 on an Ivy League campus. Its mission has remained unchanged: to discover, verify, nominate, elect and disseminate great names. All names included here are, to the best of our knowledge, real. No malice is intended.”

In a nutshell, this esteemed website creates a bracket where people can vote on different names, ultimately ending up with a name of the year. In case this doesn’t sound hilarious yet, here are some of the names:

  • Spartacus Bernstein
  • Pamela Balls Organista
  • Napoleon Einstein
  • Hannukkah Wallace
  • Lolita Respectnothing

Part of the wonder of this blog is the lengths they go to identify the names as being real through newspaper articles, magazines, etc. Knowing that Charity Beaver is actually out there somewhere makes the whole thing even better. Below is a link to the full bracket for the year. I highly recommend looking at past years as well because there are some real gems in there. When you’re done, go vote! (Thanks to Brett for the link)

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Video Game Health Care Bill

CollegeHumor put together a great spoof of the health care debate, using video game characters as a backdrop. Obama is giving a joint address to Congress with some quality lines – “Insurers will no longer be able to deny coverage to mini-bosses based on preexisting weaknesses.”

Huge bonus points for the Toejam and Earl cameo!

(h/t to Brett for the link)

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The Parking Nazis of Astoria

Now that I’m working in Chicago, the times I’m home are few and far between. This has caused me to only focus on the important things when I’m in NY.

Alternate side parking is an important thing.

I have amassed many parking tickets over the years, dating back to my college days ($5 UPD tickets were not as big a disincentive as $115 NYC ones). I am now very careful about where I park. Apparently, that’s not enough for one of my neighbors.

I came back to my car the other day and noticed a folded up paper on the windsheild. My first thought was a ticket, but it didn’t look like one. The following is what I saw:

I ran into the house to show Lauren, somewhat incredulously. Not only did someone take the time to write out such an obnoxious note, but I wasn’t even taking up two spots – I was on the corner.

Lauren noticed the best part – this was actually a photocopy. That means that someone is so upset about spot encroachment on our wide open street that they made multiple copies of this missive of friendship. One would think “your” would be spelled right before undergoing such a project, but I digress.

I have lived in Queens for five years now, and I have never lived anywhere with more parking, but let this be a lesson to anyone who visits – you may be under constant surveillance.

If you enjoyed this, I highly recommend checking out PassiveAggressiveNotes.com, which contains many photographs of vaguely threatening signs, notesĀ  and messages.

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Spring Cleaning

http://www.lsrv.info/gary/Cartoon%20Grafics/0511-0712-2613-4123_Groundhog_Is_Ready_For_Springtime_clipart_image.jpgWith the recent Biblical-like flooding, it would be hard to argue spring is here in full yet. That said, I thought it was time to get some old topics and posts out of the way.

  • That post I did on predicting the future of the internet ended up with 170K+ hits. I spent so much of the last month interacting with new commenters that I ended up not posting anything new. Serious blog management fail. For what it’s worth, it was very cool to see the breakdown of comments between obvious, interesting, spam and all others. Hopefully some people stick around for other topics. Regular posting (with its tens of readers) will now commence.
  • I got a (somewhat) new job recently, based in Chicago. The company is a portfolio company of the firm I already worked for but it’s a very new position nonetheless. I am working on a new healthcare company that enables patients with certain diagnoses to be treated at home, instead of in the hospital. This not only has higher safety and patient satisfaction ratings, but it’s cheaper for the healthcare system too. The business model should work irrespective of the healthcare bill, but it was interesting to be working in the industry in the middle of all the debate (there were no Tea Party protests in any patient homes, fortunately).
  • Commuting halfway across the country affords one with the opportunity to see close up views of the TSA, airports, and people of all types. Things I’ve encountered will surely be a topic of future posts. In the meantime, my time away from my loved ones is partially offset by an obscene amount of airline and hotel reward points. Yippee.
  • A lot happened in the world since I last posted. Since I love politics, it would be nice if the country did not rip itself to shreds via Washington. Appreciate it.
  • Passover happened. I went to two seders in a row. I’m two full to think of something witty, so check out this segment Colbert did about Passover, courtesy of Brett. My favorite line: “What’s more Jewish than answering in the form of a question?”

Now that I have completed the update on my life nobody asked for, here are some links I’ve been holding on to that are worth checking out:

  • NASA released a photograph that they say is the most detailed image of Earth ever compiled. I always think space-based pictures provide a great deal of perspective, and this one is truly incredible. – Daily Mail
  • According to the Daily News, there is only one documented Jew still living in Afghanistan. Because he has no access to traditional Jewish foods or supplies (complaints?) an Afghan Jew living in Queens sends $500 worth of food to him in Afghanistan every year. Kind of cool how culture bridged such a distant and obscure connection – NY Daily News
  • A group at Cornell studied the 52 most famous images of the Last Supper dating back to 1000 AD. Incrementally (and then rapidly starting in 1500), the size of the food portrayed has grown significantly. Interesting how we project into art based on how much more food is readily available now. It wouldn’t surprise me if a new version in a few years was Super Sized and included branding. – BBC News
  • Crayola’s Law (based roughly on Moore’s Law): The number of Crayola colors doubles every 28 years. – Marginal Revolution via Boing Boing
  • A friend of mine is working on his thesis and is developing some webb apps to make transferring between social networks a much easier process. He has some interesting ideas on his blog that are worth checking out. – Wanderli.st

Finally, in light of this post’s theme, this publication would like to provide you with a friendly reminder to actually do some spring cleaning. It’s been a long winter and things tend to accumulate. For example, Lauren and I both spent last weekend cleaning and washing our cars. Neither of us had emptied our trunks in awhile, so we had a little contest to see who had more stuff. Needless to say, she won!

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