January 3, 2011

Another day, another run in with the police

This summer, my friends and I were subject to absurd racial profiling in the meatpacking district, which led to guns being pulled on us – which I chronicled here. To be fair, while guns were pulled on all of us, I believe only one of us was racially profiled. The other three were Jewish and wetting themselves. Moving right along.

On Thursday, I went down to visit my cousins in Philly for some pre-New Year’s fun. Visiting Philly usually leads to bodily harm, but only as a result of copious amounts of food and alcohol. This time, I was in trouble before even arriving.

I was at a red light on a four lane road with a median. At the light, my car was in the right lane behind one other car. Two police cars were blocking the road in the other direction and some glass was on the ground. Looked like a basic accident. However, all of a sudden about 7 more cruisers came flying up, and the first one was an undercover. The cops all jumped out and surrounded the area.

About 30 seconds later, cops all around the car were shouting “Get out of the car! Get out here now!!” I wasn’t sure if they were talking to us (because of my troubled past) or telling the other cars to get out of the area so they could deal with whatever was going on. Before I could figure it out, I heard about three gunshots – with bullets hitting the car directly to my left.

Not wanting to stick around for the conclusion, I hopped into the shoulder, ran the red light and got out of there. Another 10-15 police cars came flying by in the other direction as we flew down Broad Street.

The rest of the trip was uneventful. I did in fact consume copious amounts of food and alcohol at a new tapas place in Philly called Kokopelli. Our waitress (Krystal) was awesome and I recommend it to anyone who lives around there (try the Onyx drink, bison sliders and chorizo mac & cheese).

Here’s the news story about the gun battle. In the video below, you can see that this was all a simple misunderstanding about domestic violence and obstruction of justice. Nothing out of the ordinary for a Thursday. Happy new year!

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December 29, 2010

Holiday gluttony!

Now that we are in the holiday season, and work travel has cut back, I can focus on what’s important to me: family cooking and eating lots of food. Since I had some time, I thought I would work on my 101 in 1001 recipe list. In our family, there are three recipes that are amazing and have become staples of most get togethers: baked salami, my mom’s matzoh ball soup, and baby back ribs. Since I already mastered the salami (that’s what she said), and I don’t make matzoh balls on Christmas, I decided to tackle the ribs.

Unlike my other food posts, I can’t/won’t post the recipe here. It is a family secret from my grandmother and if I were to reveal it, Evan’s House of Ribs would never take off when I retire. Side note: most grandmas give you cookie or soup recipes…my mom’s mom gave us pork baby back ribs. As a Jewish grandma, she was ahead of her time. But I digress.

The ribs take almost four hours to make, so you have to be very sure that you have time and hungry co-gluttons before you begin. The end result is very worth it.

The abbreviated recipe is:

  • Buy pork baby back ribs
  • Cook for two hours
  • Add the sauce
  • Cook for two more hours
  • Seek medical attention

Despite having these many times in my life (including every year for my birthday), I had never made them before. Fortunately, they came out great. They continued to be great as I ate them every day while I was snowed in. Thanks to everyone who helped with the recipe, photography, and eating (they make a good bribe to people who help you shovel).

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November 30, 2010

Birthday morning

I woke up from a dream this morning and it felt much later than I had set my alarm for. My phone was dead apparently. I went into the living room and turned on a light, but that was dead also. The power must have gone out. Something seemed off but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I looked up and noticed that the light bulbs in the kitchen had all been replaced with spotlights, and the old bulbs were sitting on the counter. I kind of freaked out..I had definitely not done that. I heard someone breathing on the other side of my apartment..it sounded like they were sitting at my desk. I grabbed a sword that was next to my bed and got ready to deal with whomever had broken in. I went running around the corner, and right before I attacked, I realized it was my landlord. He said he had been working on the apartment, and probably should have called to let me know he was going to let himself in while I was sleeping. I asked him why the power was out. He said that the fridge was using too much energy so he didn’t want me using it. I opened the fridge and there was a bunch of melted and dripping food. Some leftover salad looked at me and said “please close the door, you’re letting all the air out!” Then my alarm actually went off.

This doesn’t seem to cover whatever is going on in my brain. That’s the last time I eat right before bed.

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November 24, 2010

Giving thanks

This has been one of the crazier years of my life. Since last Thanksgiving, I moved for the third time since college, got a new job and started commuting to Chicago, witnessed a birth, two weddings and a funeral, had a long term relationship end, and was subjected to a variety of other adventures in and out of NYC.

I am thankful for a life without a single boring minute for many many years, and for all the people that made that possible. As part of my 101 in 1001 list, I have committed to doing something charitable every Thanksgiving. Today, I dropped off an obscene amount of old clothes (and sheets…sorry Mom) at the Goodwill in Astoria. Richardo also organized a group to go to the Marine Corp Toys for Tots drive. If anyone wants to join, we are going to the Times Square Toys R Us on December 18th at 2:30 PM. If you know me, you know how to reach me, otherwise, please stop following me, Internet.

As part of this holiday, I wanted to share the many people and things I am thankful for:

  • I am thankful for the constant love and support of my now-enormous family, which has grown from eight cousins and some parents to a smörgåsbord of Jews and shiksas up and down the east coast (with some out west as well).
  • I am thankful that many of these cousins continue to churn out babies, holding off pressure on me as long as possible.
  • I am thankful for a safe and spacious place to live, 80% of which is devoted to my couch or the production/consumption of food.
  • I am thankful for my health, and therefore, thankful to Tony Horton and the world famous Karen pot stirrers. I hate it…but I love it.
  • I am thankful for my friends, with whom I have drank (and un-drank), gotten lost, met almost tens of women, debated, learned and laughed. It’s very cool to have most of my close friends live somewhere in the five boroughs. It’s even cooler that that people like Tyler consider Florida an acceptable place to live in one’s 20′s.
    • A special shout out to Michelle, who is always there for me, even if it’s been awhile. Although she tends to be there for me more when I offer waffles.
  • I am lucky to have a job with an inspiring company that challenges me and surrounds me with incredible people. American Airlines is lucky that it’s 700 miles away, and that most of my feelings towards them represent federal crimes.
  • I’m thankful that despite Facebook wasting several years of my life, I constantly reconnect with old friends. It’s pretty cool to think that even after years of not seeing people, I can talk sports with Richter and Schultz, run into Gina and Mike in Chicago, see Angelo in from Italy, or WHICH SEX AND THE CITY CHARACTER ARE YOU???? CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT!!!!!
  • I am thankful for all of the people that serve our country at home or abroad. I am especially grateful to Colonel Waring and Mary, for tirelessly advocating for current and former soldiers, and to Admiral Landry, for instilling enough military discipline in her son to be able to handle my sister.
  • I am thankful for my fraternity (Phi Kappa Psi). Despite its undergraduates occasionally giving me early onset dementia, it has introduced me to incredible people and taken me all over the country (most importantly, Cabo San Lucas and New Orleans).
  • I am grateful for the feast we are going to eat tomorrow, and to Procter & Gamble, makers of Pepto-Bismol®.
  • I am thankful for the Yankees. We’ll always have 2009!
  • There has been a renaissance in TV over the last 7 or 8 years. West Wing, Rome, Sopranos…so many epic shows. In the last three weeks I got through 2.5 seasons of Mad Men. I also made five trips to the liquor store and am working on perfecting an old fashioned. I’m thankful that no one sells Lucky Strikes anymore.
  • I’m thankful for the internet. I read a few hundred blog posts a day and never fail to learn something interesting , see a new point of view, or wonder how someone found time to mashup hilarious things from the 80′s. If you read only one thing every day, and want to know about everything in the world, read the Daily Dish.
  • Along those lines, I’m thankful to everyone who has read or reads this blog. My biggest post got 208,000 hits, and I have quite a few with 6, but I just love to write, and appreciate anyone who has stopped by to read or throw in their two cents.
  • Last but not least, I’m thankful to Brandon for the idea of a 101 in 1001 list, and for having a life that affords me the opportunity to even contemplate doing everything on there.

Even if the Korean Peninsula leads to the end of the world, or it turns out your relatives are imposters, I hope everyone has the chance to spend a great holiday with their loved ones (whether or not they are sane).

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November 24, 2010

Turning your phone off as a sign of love

Ingrid ZweifelIn a relatively short time frame, cell phones went from neat gadgets to must-have communication devices to indispensable parts of the human anatomy. One rarely goes out to dinner or drinks now without at least one person setting their Blackberry on the table (or starting deeply into their iPhone). This is for those situations where the time it takes to get your phone out of your pocket could cause an international incident.

Ingrid Zweifel, a student at Parsons The New School for Design, decided to do a thesis on this issue (or more broadly, on how technology has affected interpersonal communication). The conclusion was, unsurprisingly, that people are technology whores.

She ended up inventing a “Phonekerchief” that actually blocks cell signals, rendering a phone unreachable. For those that might use this as a pocket square, losing style points and wrapping your phone into an impenetrable gift bag would surely impress a date (although if you have an embroidered handkerchief, it would probably best be used to block the girl from texting anyone about how embarrassed she is).

Here’s Zweifel’s site – these are supposed to be available to order the day after Thanksgiving.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2010/11/23/turning-your-phone-off-as-a-technological-gesture-of-affection/#ixzz16EC6OsK8

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November 16, 2010

22 fictional characters whose names you don’t know

Over at MentalFloss, they have put together one of the more important lists I’ve come across – the real names of many fictional characters.

The list includes a variety of famous characters – Barbie, Wizard of Oz, and more. Here are some of the better ones:

Bizarre – Cap’n Crunch’s full name is Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch
Commercial – Mr. Clean’s first name is Veritably
Earth-shatteringly important – Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons is named Jeff Albertson

Weirdest. List. Ever.

http://blogs.static.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/57704.html?cnn=yes

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November 8, 2010

Make a font out of your handwriting

Everyone loves the idea of sending personal handwritten notes, and as they become even more rare, the meaning around them seems to increase. Unfortunately, writing takes time, effort..and who wants that?

My solution (which is on my 101 in 1001 list) was to make a font out of my handwriting. After reviewing a few options at Lifehacker, I decided to go with YourFonts.com.

The process is very straightforward:

  1. Print out a PDF template
  2. Write the entire alphabet (capital and lowercase) in a bunch of specially formatted squares
  3. Curse that you messed up the lowercase Z and start over
  4. Get a phone call while perfecting your exclamation point
  5. Scan and upload the completed document

Once the document is in their system, you get a preview to see how it looks. I decided to use Photoshop to fix up some imperfections in the document, which I highly recommend. Nothing major, but it helps remove ink trails and align the letters perfectly in the square. Once you’re happy, you can buy the font.

This site used to be free, but the standard rate here and elsewhere seems to be around $9.95 per font. Not bad for a fun project that will let me cross something off of my list. If anyone is interested, Fontifier offers a seemingly similar service at the same price. Always good to have options.

When I was all done, I installed the font (takes about 30 seconds) and wrote myself a letter in Word. Below it is in all its glory (click for a full version – where you can see what it actually looked like when it printed).

I’m not sure what I will use this for (if anything), but I’m happy with the results, and it was a fun diversion from my fantasy football team getting murdered. While my 5-game winning streak is over, at least I can now send personal handwritten notes to gloat about temporarily staying in first place.

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November 5, 2010

Three Jews, a Dominican and an Irishman walk into a boxing ring

I decided I would take an MMA class for my 101 in 1001 project. I figured that this would be one of the more adventurous challenges. Although I try to workout almost every day, the only thing I’m usually fighting is sleep.

A few friends of mine were members of The Rock gym in Astoria, and they both study Muay Thai kickboxing, so I was invited to tag along. That’s Zman on the left..who takes his kicking very seriously.

The class was intense. The temperature in the room is kept in the high 80′s, and we started with almost 30 minutes of non-stop cardio. The instructor had us cycle between jumping jacks, jump rope, running and shoulder presses with a medicine ball.

When we were done with that, everyone had lost about 5 pounds of sweat..at which point the class actually started. The muay thai technique was fairly basic – lots of front and side kicks. The teacher focused on getting everyone to strike with the right balance and momentum. I focused on kicking my friends very hard.

The teacher was a guy named Carlos (he went by Carlito, since he was about 5’3″). He really pushed everyone to the limit, which was a lot of fun for me as a beginner. There was also an Irish guy in the class who was probably 250 and kicked like he was trying to singlehandedly reverse climate change. It was fun holding the pads for him, and it was also fun needing prosthetic limbs for a few days afterward.

Although I haven’t been back since, it was definitely something I would do again. It was a great workout and I’ve always loved martial arts training.

For anyone interested, you can pay per class. The Rock is located at 22-15 31st Street in Astoria and the class appears to meet on Wednesday nights.

As an aside, while writing this article, I tried looking up famous Jewish boxers. First of all, there is actually a Wikipedia page for that. Which is hilarious. Secondly, I found a site listing the top 5 Jewish boxers of all time. This is #5:

Maxie Rosenbloom – 222 (19) – 42 – 31 – Maxie Rosenbloom was the longtime light heavyweight champion of the world, reigning from 1930 to 1934. This is despite his infamous weak punch, knocking out less than 10 percent of the men he beat.

Sigh. At least no one can take away Sandy Koufax. Here are the rest of the pictures from the class. Thanks to Jared and Zman for the invite.

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November 4, 2010

Mmm….steak

Steak is one of my favorite things to eat, so naturally I had to make it as one of my new recipes for the 101 in 1001 list. I’ve obviously made it before so I thought I would try to make it with as complex a recipe as possible.

My tool of the trade is the Delonghi Indoor Grill. This was one of the best Christmas presents I’ve ever gotten from my dad, which is all the more remarkable because I’m Jewish and he considers himself Buddhist. It’s not the model pictured to the left but very close. They are a pain to clean but I highly recommend them.

So, I decided to make a steak rub. This recipe comes courtesy of the OChef website. I have no idea what their deal is but Google sent me their way. It’s a lot of ingredients but very easy to make and it stores well:

2 Tbsp paprika, preferably Hungarian
2 Tbsp chile powder, preferably Gebhardt
1 to 2 tsp cayenne pepper (optional)
2 Tbsp granulated garlic or garlic powder
2 Tbsp light or dark brown sugar
1 Tbsp ground cumin
1 Tbsp dry mustard, preferably Colman’s
1 tsp ground sage
1 tsp dried oregano
1/4 cup salt
1 Tbsp freshly ground black pepper

Mix it all together and you’re good to go. This goes very well with strip/shell steaks – for a handy cow-shaped diagram of which cut is which go here.

Everything came out great – and the Delonghi makes some mean grill marks for an indoor electric. The rub has an incredible taste – very rich flavor without being too spicy.

Here are the results of my work…slightly before they were inhaled. I do not recommend making salad or sweet potatoes on the grill.

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November 4, 2010

Blog is back. Alright!

As it unfortunately happens from time to time, I stopped writing for awhile. I’ve been working for a healthcare startup in Chicago that is doing (hopefully) amazing things and traveling a lot. But I’m back for now.

I have made a lot of progress on my 101 list, met some great new people, and am planning some big things for the coming year. I will be posting some updates in the coming days, but in the meantime, I met the Backstreet Boys against my will.

While flying home from Chicago, our entire gate was blocked off. There was a sign that said “By entering this area you consent to being filmed by Harpo Productions”. I’m not sure how Oprah supersedes the TSA, but I suppose that’s how Chicago works.

A vaguely familiar group of guys then walked over and started wandering around. Based on my loose knowledge of 90′s pop and devoted sister, I realized it was the Backstreet Boys. They were there on behalf of Oprah to surprise their “biggest fan”, who predictably cried and screamed when she got off of the plane. As luck (?) would have it, it’s apparently airing today.

That said, if you watch, please don’t ever read this blog again.

Here’s some video of them making their dramatic surprise. More posts to come…and none of them about boy bands!

 

 

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