Driving While Black and Jewish

Note: Dramatic reenactment

Last Friday, some friends and I planned dinner at Sea, a great Thai place in the meatpacking district. It’s across the street  from the Standard Hotel, noted for its exhibitionism and exclusive club.

After dinner, we walked to my car, which was parked on the street nearby. Jared and Z-Man got in the back, and Richardo and I were up front. It is probably worth noting, at this point, that Richardo is black, while the rest of us are as Jewish as the day is long. Richardo was wearing a polo shirt and was earlier accused of being the preppiest person at the Standard Hotel (no small feat).

Anyway, we drove about three blocks, and were stopped at a red light (in front of Dos Caminos, which is irrelevant, yet a hilarious setting for what was about to occur).

All of a sudden, there was a siren and flashing lights behind us (from an unmarked police car), and extremely aggressive yelling on the loudspeaker to pull over. We had no idea what was going on, and the reaction seemed a bit strong for a tail light outage or missed stop sign.

The car was approached on either side by two undercover officers – one was white and looked twelve (on my side) and one was black and enormous (on the passenger side). They immediately started asking numerous questions for which the answers seemed to not matter:

Vanilla Ice: WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!?!?!?
Me: I’m leaving dinner.
Vanilla Ice: WHO IS THE GUY NEXT TO YOU?
Me: My college roommate and best friend.
Vanilla Ice: PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE WHEEL NOW
Me: Okay [does so]
Vanilla Ice: PUT THEM BEHIND YOUR HEAD!
Me: Okay [does so]
Vanilla Ice: DAMMIT YOU’RE NOT LISTENING – GET OUT OF THE CAR NOW!
Me (inaudibly): Are we playing the worst game of Simon says ever?

Once I was out of the car, I noticed that Slim Shady’s other hand was on his unholstered gun. At this point, we began to wonder….what in the hell was going on. His questions seemed to focus on who the hell my passenger was and if I was sure I was not a criminal. Finally, I asked the officer why we were stopped.

His demeanor immediately changed. He said that some guy was walking around Little West 12th Street “committing crimes.” They had been watching us, and when we got in the car they thought Richardo matched this guy’s description, but couldn’t see him so they had to pursue us. (Ed. note – How could he simultaneously match someone’s description, yet be unseen?)

The other cop asked Richardo what his name was, in full earshot of me. Then, Richie Cunningham also asked me Richardo’s name. When they “matched,” the cops simply walked away without so much as an apology.

While Z-Man tended to changing his pants, Richardo and I were completely shocked. First of all, if this search was even real (and worthy of involving guns), one thinks they would have actually done something crazy like…check our IDs? As opposed to taking our word for it? I don’t know how Richardo could have matched a suspect, yet they couldn’t see him.

I wasn’t able to get either badge number, and we were never actually detained, so I don’t know how much recourse we have. That said, if the NYPD’s thriving racial profiling business is here to stay, a word of advice – I don’t think many street hustlers drive around in expensive clothes with 3 Jewish kids in a convertible through the meatpacking district. But hey – if you see something, say something.