Let’s switch things up a bit

When I started this blog, I didn’t have any particular goal in mind. I love to write, and eventually wanted a public forum to keep track of my 101 in 1001 list.

I have had many ebbs and flows in terms of post frequency (as I would imagine many amateur bloggers do) but recently made a concerted effort to post more, despite spending most of my life on the road for work.

Well, about three days ago, I put up a post about Clifford Stoll’s 1995 predictions about the internet. Since then (with many thanks to BoingBoing and others) this little corner of the web has received over 28,000 hits, and I have had the opportunity to debate technology prognostication (via snarky comments) with people all over the world.

In my mind, this marked a turning point – I’ve finally made it! Now…it’s time to regress to the lowbrow humor from whence I came! With that in mind, I submit the following story.

During recent Passovers, certain family members of mine have taken to purchasing finger puppets that commemorate the plagues in Biblical Egypt (ed. note – only Jews would commemorate plagues). These have been the source of much ridicule from every other member of my family.

Well, today, my cousin Brett sent me the following:

It looks like these monstrosities have been updated and are even creepier (which is worse, the sad dying firstborn son, or the river of blood with the tummy ache?)

Upon seeing this picture, we remarked that “Let my fingers go!” sounds more like a porn title than a cry from Moses. This, of course, led me to think that since Jews lead the league in sarcasm, someone must have put together a list of Jewish porn titles. Alas, Funny or Die did not let me down:

1. Hannah Does Her Blintzes
2. Chupah Schtuppah
3. You Don’t Have To Be Jewish To Enjoy Kosher Sausage
4. The Moel Always Cuts Twice
5. Barry Porter And The Chamber Of Shiksas
6. The Goy Who Came At Dinner
7. My Son The Boob Doctor
8. Mishegas At The Mikveh
9. Reformed Jews Do
10. What Happens In Janet Goldman, Stays In Janet Goldman
11. Smoked Brisket
12. Tzimmes And Sodomy
13. The Last Tempation Of Rabbi Cohen
14. Bar Mitzvah Ballin’
15. The Secret Sex Lives Of Kosher Caterers
16. The Man Who Loved Smoked Salmon … We Mean Really Loved Smoked Salmon
17. Deep Insider Eugene Levy
18. The Kosher Butcher’s Wife
19. Tongue For Lunch, Matzoh Balls For Dessert
20. Orthodox Maneuvers

I struggle to top 10 and 20, among others (poor Janet Goldman). In light of the larger reader base now available, I was hoping we could come up with some other good ones in the comments. Depending on the submissions, I would be willing to send some of these very finger puppets to the winner.

Blaspheme away!