I was driving home from work last night and got stuck in horrible traffic. I was going to have dinner with my friend (and popular blogger) Michelle, but I forgot to realize that several hundred thousand other people were beginning their weekend yesterday (I, for one, plan to leave work shortly).
Somewhere on I-95, I just so happened to pull up next to a large SUV. Large is the operative word, you see, because these were large people. The guy was probably 300 lbs, and the woman was close to, if not exactly, 200.
What struck me as odd was that the woman had a half smile/half giggle, while the guy was staring straight ahead with the focus of a SEAL sniper.
That’s when I noticed that the car was shaking a little, even though we were in bumper to bumper traffic.
Why, you ask? Because shamu’s hand was down her husbands pants.
Since I was very tired, and I was in bumper to bumper traffic, I thought that I must have been seeing things. My lane moved ahead slightly, and I decided I should get some sleep.
A minute later, their lane started moving again, and sure enough, the woman was still going to town on him. Every half second or so, her hand would fly wildly into view, like some sort of overweight, erotic metronome.
Then, just like that, they were gone. Michelle and I had our dinner, and the large people had their romantic encounter near exit 9 on one of the busiest highways in America.
This story may leave me scarred for life….
Pleasure in a sea of blubber, sweat and bodily fluids.
Give the dame a thumbs up though…Search and Rescue teams may have an easier time finding victims that she did finding his junk, let alone working it……